A Living Eulogy of Sorts OR How to say Thank You

 

 To my Mother: a heartfelt thanks to you, because you never stopped loving or caring for my father and your sons amongst with a handful of others; though it took awhile for me to realize just how big your hands could be.  Since I can remember it was with those same hands that you hugged me, it was with those hands that you fed me, and it was with those hands that a garden was grown year after year after year.

  As skilled as your hands are, they paled by comparison to your heart; this declaration is made simply because your heart was the driving power behind your hands; and what a power source it has been.  The love that flowed from your heart was undeniable.  Like many a wonder, the sum of what makes up my mother is more then just the sum of her parts.

  Your hands were mentioned first as that is what I probably first noticed, then as I was able to notice more, her heart came into play, and then after that while it took me a few years for it to come to light just how brilliant my Mother is.  Lucky for me my Mother is a rose and while my father got the full blooming flower; I got a whiff and waif of the scent, and the government got the thorns – and here I quote my Mother: ‘tax evasion is illegal, though tax avoidance is a hobby’, and my Mother really likes her hobbies.  Mother to you I say kiitos. (Thank You in the language of Suomi)

  To my Father: a heartfelt thanks to you, because you never stopped loving or caring for my Mother and two your sons along with a handful of others; though early on it took some time for me to realize just how big your heart could be.  Out of honesty, this author must admit that he was not the most co-operative child in the family when he was at a much lower height; yet Father never stopped loving and what happened was simply his idea of course correction where Father did do was his best to provide the skills for navigating the rapids and rocks of the river of life and seeing as this author from the start was unruly, Father suffered some disappointments.  Though, it is with hope in his heart that frustration was like a cloud of squid ink in the ocean of parental care and love.

   As for his hands, Father has the hands of an artist; his ability to shape and weld metal surely could have landed him a job at Ferrari, though he was handed a path not of his making as he was a child born into war after all.  Additionally, Father and his hands were quite able to work with fine wood as he built a cabinet, restored a piano and used lumber when he expanded the house for his family.  Also, it has to be recognized that not only did Father build he designed, and at that too he excelled; often by using simply graph paper.  The only two things that didn’t come with historical precedence are my brother and I; Father was a craftsman; and yes occasionally the few times it happened, he used his skilled hands on us.  Towards those readers who might claim that a spanking is child abuse: what will you call the school shootings that have been on the rise every since a halt was called to spankings. 

  Though not entirely of his choosing at least in the beginning, he began picking the means to navigated the river of life for himself along with his wife at his side, and eventually his two sons who showed up after their marriage and their ‘luna di miele’.  

  Father, always seemed to hold to the principle of Keep It Simple Son (KISS).  Though due to the rules of nature v. nurture, the world always seemed different for me and yet my Father has always been willing to talk; as his loving and caring has always remained.  It must be mentioned that upon occasion, even to this day the spankings continue, though now it is in the form of verbal chastisement or simply the hanging up of the phone; yet within 24 to 72 hours Father would will with an open mind put that same phone back to his ear to give me another chance as the same love and caring is always present.  Father, to you I say ‘Grazie’ (Thank You in the language of Italia)

 A Note:  In the writings above I used the first person for my Mother and a more remote third person position for my Father.  As a young child, I spent most of my time with Mother, while Father was often off doing stuff though I did not know what that stuff was until I could shift from only my needs towards my thinking for myself, at which point I became more disgruntled, and then I began to understand better and things got healed with the relationship with Father; this was around when I turned 24 years of age

  Well paired:  From my perspective a better couple, marriage, or parents have never existed; certainly there is some bias on my part.  Of course there have been other good parents though those are unknown to me, though some must have come close.  The basic experience as I recall is that Mother was the carrot and Father was this stick, and both played their roles judiciously, that being said I was never allowed to be the donkey; as the saying goes.  I was held to a higher standard than that and rather than being given what I wanted I was given what I needed.

  Due to the limits of the human body and scheduling considerations these words are a targeted approach towards saying ‘Thank You’ to the two people who took on the task of making me the man I am.  I’m not perfect, though I feel I’m good enough; while I didn’t get what I wanted I do have I need.

 

So, hello Mother, hello Father – I thank you both for not spoiling me and teaching me that expectation is the easiest way to disappointment and misery.