Dear Erica, a letter

Context: Recently I had a discussion with a young adult human female (Erica), her aunt (zia in Italian), uncle (zio in Italian), and others; though most of those people didn’t really participate except for the odd comment injected occasionally. I’m making this letter public because Erica’s argument style, in my opinion, was to simply parrot the talking points she absorbed without any consideration to critical examination. While this letter is addressed to Erica, it was more of an exercise for me as this falls into the category of ‘I should have said that instead.’

Dear Erica, 

Before I get into the meat of this letter, I’d like to get the politeness out of the way and thank you for a most interesting conversation. I’ll do my best to recall some of the main talking points of the discussion and welcome any corrections you offer up, if and only if you will allow me to respond to your correction; so, if you don’t want a response than don’t make a correction. 

I feel the most basic and significant point in the discussion was on, and about, the words ‘respect’ and ‘politeness’. If I recall correctly, your position was that everyone deserves respect, while my position was that politeness should be a social standard while, respect is something that is to be earned. Without clarity on this one point, I feel that all of the other topics discussed should be considered as condiments on the burger. We were at a BBQ after all. (Insert smiling emoji here)

As a noun, the word respect has two entries, as provided below:

1. A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

2. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.

Given the two definitions above, it seems obvious to me that I was working with #1, while you were working with #2. For me, the two definitions provided have a distinct difference: the first definition allows for the giver of respect the choice of respecting or not, while the second implies something close to an obligation. 

As a child, I was told to love and respect my parents, and I didn’t know what that meant at the time, though I did understand fear; what I quickly learned was that if I saddened or upset my mother, my father would ensure that I changed my ways. Later on in my life, somewhere around the age of 24, when I reflected upon the actions my parents took in regards to my brother and me that I truly understood definition #1. 

So, I’ll ask you this: what is the obligation of those whom demand I respect their personal pronouns, to respecting my feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions? Your zio David, made the point that he has to watch his words where he works, lest he becomes sanctioned or suffer some other punishment; as outside of the tyrannical, it must be considered proper for those who demand respect to offer it up equally if is to be a civil society. 

Another, point we touched on was a discussion about transgender children. I was pleased that you drew a line on top and bottom surgery for teens. I’ll now head you off at the pass as it were, while a 19 year old is technically a teenager, they are afforded more rights along with more responsibilities than those who are younger and so we might as well refer to them as uber-teenagers or pseudo-adults; I offer up these two terms as most people’s brain doesn’t reach maturity until around the age of 24. 

I’d like you to reconsider your position on puberty blocking medications though. Please consider the history of athletics in our school system and beyond. At the public school level, especially the lower grades, genetically born boys and girls play on mixed gender teams. There is little to no noticeable difference in performance at those ages, yet once there is an onset of puberty the changes in performance are quite distinct. The boys on the path towards manhood develop larger hearts and lungs, along with greater upper body strength due to an increase in both muscle mass and bone density. Chemically retarding such aspects during their growth will put them at risk later on; if there is a change a mind; while the scars of top and bottom surgery are obvious, these internal changes can be just as damaging. 

The next argument I’d like to put forward is to ask why the people who support the change of what I consider to be an immutable characteristic are so bigoted. There are some people who will not accept a change to another immutable characteristic such as race; thus demonstrating their lack of open mindedness. Perhaps we should role out the term ‘transracialaphobia’ and add it to our social zeitgeist. 

Here are some talking points for you to consider moving forward:

• Gender affirming care is being presented as a cure for gender or body dysphoria, which is a significant distress or impairment as noted in the DSM-5.
• Anorexia Nervosa, also listed in the DSM-5, yet the sufferers get no positive support for their condition. Should the state not simply buy them buckets to puke in?
• Biological males who take puberty blockers and Estrogen supplements suffer from osteoporosis at and early age.  
• Consider that everyone who transitions will be on gender hormone therapy for life, and that those drugs are not free. Could there be a money motivator somewhere in this situation?
• Look up Dr. Money, twin boys, botched circumcision and then look for the term suicide in the reading.
• Those people who opt-in for a neo-vagina must stretch their new ‘bonus hole’ daily. Keep in mind that the human body sees this as a deviation from normal, a wound that needs healing as it were. 
• Those who take-up bottom surgery will never feel the sexual pleasure of clitoral or penal stimulation again, thus rendering them simply a sex toy for the pleasure of others. 
• About 30,000, or 5 percent, of the ‘cisgender’ people in a study have autism, the researchers found, whereas 895, or 24 percent, of the gender-diverse people do[1] .

Eugenics is a set of beliefs and practices that aim to improve the genetic quality of a human population; leaving me to wonder if that last bullet point, presents an effort to clean up the gene pool. 

Erica, please accept that this is not attack on you, just some of the ideas you promoted during our very pleasant conversation. Choices have consequences, and I just don’t think many young people are taking the time to consider what awaits them ahead, willingly or not. Oh and of the people I’ve listened to who have de-transitioned, they seem to eventually came to the conclusion that they were always simply a confused homosexual going through puberty and looking for answers to questions they didn’t even know to ask. 

I’ll leave you with this simple question: would you encourage and support your younger cousins in the setting their own menus for breakfast, lunch and dinner; and if not why not? 

All regards, 

-RD-

[1] https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/largest-study-to-date-confirms-overlap-between-autism-and-gender-diversity/