Lend me Your Ear

'Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ear.'

 

Marcus Antonius when addressing the Roman Senate positioned the idea of Friend above and foremost in one of the most well known lines in history; the second word was tribal based and the third was state based. This simple statement that forms an appeal to be listened to is based on concentric circles that are expanding outward. 

 

'You can judge a man by his friends'

 

Author unknown, took the position that once you look at a person's friends you have perception into the character of that person. While this principle is not 100% accurate, it does hold true under typical circumstances. 

So, under the principles of the two quotes above I'm going to take stock of my friends as I see them and I recommend that each reader take the time to reflect upon their own choices of who they call friend. 

 

No names will be divulged in this writing as the focus is on character and characteristics.The 'friends' will be done in some sort of pseudo order up to a point because after 'friend' number 4, things will probably flatten out just a bit. The gender of the friend will be given in brackets.

Friend#1 (F): This person has stood by me from day one of my life. This friend has done their best to ensure I was safe physically and mentally to this day, this friend also let me climb trees, run in fields and fall in dirt. So I learned not to fall out of trees, I learned how to run and how not to eat dirt. I respect this friend for their self assigned duty of care. 

 

Friend#2 (M): This person has stood by me from about day three of my life, or so I have come to understand. This friend who while doing their best to encourage my physical and mental safety remained intact also tasked me to always do my best or at least always try to do better by considering a situation in its entirety. It is because of this friend that I do try to find the best solution to any given problem by looking at both the details and the whole picture, and for that I respect this friend. 

Friend#3 (M): This person has stood by me since about day 7671 of my life or there about. I'm not sure who is a the sidekick to whom as we seem to be at par in that way. We seem to be equally jocular and empathetic with and for each other all at the same time. We have learned from each other all the while letting the other rant when required; I feel that each would owe the other a most hefty sum for the therapy we have provided each other over our years together. As such, I respect this friend for their longevity without any biological entanglement, coupled with their wisdom and honesty.

 

 Friend#4 (F): This person is a tantalizing conundrum when it comes to friendship. This friendship started off in the most corporeal of ways and eventually grew into more. This person has been a participant in my life for the last five to six years. This person has like many others, has had a rough time of things as of late ever since the governments of the world have decided to ignore the plight of the individual and strive to make options which provide for 'the greater good'. This person in principle is a doctor to me because it seems to be that the concept of 'do no harm' is at the core of their being and that is a position they take quite seriously; this is why I respect this friend. 

Friend#5 (M): In a very simple way this person has a character quite similar to that of Friend #4. Both are well intended and all the while somewhat overwhelmed as shown by their reaction to the current social situation. This person leans toward feeling anger or frustration over the feeling of morose presented by Friend#4. Anger is both weight and blindfold because when you are angry your moves are not nimble and your focus is myopic. Physical labour such as chopping wood is for me the best means to express anger because when there is one log and you have two legs, being myopic is not an option. This friend, wants a better world for those around them and as such I have respect for this friend.

Friend#6 (M): This person was born outside of Canada in a country with an authoritarian theocratic government which caused this person to move to Canada. While the varied perspectives between myself and this person are rooted in different sources there is simpatico because I was raised in a world that I would say was good and as such I want it maintained and this person was raised in a world that wasn't good and so they sought a change to a better world. I have seen this person defend the Canada they moved to and lament the Canada their new home country has become as it reminds them of where they where born. Due to the repressive nature of their upbringing this person is not much of a fighter, though they still see oppression when it is evident and they speak out against it, at least to me and this is why I respect this friend. 

Friend#7 (M): This person also has a taste for something that is not for me; this is not why I like this person because this person has never-ever said I must accept their life style, it seems to me that this person has always been a 'well this is me and so take it or leave it and that is up to you'. It takes a strong character to stand apart with one's conviction without making a billboard out that same said conviction as so many people have done as of late and this is why I respect this person.

Friend#8-19 (x): These people are a mixed bag so to speak. They are all unique in there own way in that they are all just off centre in one direction or the other. Some of these people are on the left and the others are on the right - while the majority sit in the political centre. These are the ones whom I don't talk to as often as I would like though when I do they listen and that is why I respect these people.

Friend#20 (F): This person was the hardest to position in the list because following the first three friends this person has heavily influential in my life and should therefore not be ignored. This person changed my life like few others outside of my immediate have. The person was not always kind though they were truthful in their own way. This person taught me that expectation is the quickest way to disappointment and for that lesson alone I will not forget this person. While I no longer speak with this person I still consider them a friend for how they helped me in my life and for that I respect this person to this day.

 

 It is often said that one can choose their friends but not their family. I tend to feel that one's friends are their family and while the familial bond can be important it should not be held sacrosanct; just ask Fredo Corleone. For this author there needs to be an equitable balance between giving, taking and just having a good laugh or cry with you some people else they are not your friend. Once again I will stress that an equitable balance is required within every friendship else respect will slip away to towards resentment. 

For me, a person can respect another while in the moment not liking them though when there is no respect all you have done is purchased that persons' time for the moment because few and far between are the men who respect whores...

 

All regards, 

-RD-